Bill Simmons mocks Adam Schefter for his emotional goodbye to Adrian Wojnarowski

Bill Simmons poked fun at ESPN’s Adam Schefter for his emotional send-off for Adrian Wojnarowski this week. 

Schefter, on Wednesday’s “NBA Today,” waxed poetic about Wojnarowski’s decision to walk away from his job as ESPN’s NBA insider and $20 million to spend more time with his family.

“He wanted his life back. He didn’t want to have to work on holidays. He didn’t want to be away from more family gatherings,” Schefter said of his colleague’s retirement. 

“He didn’t want to have to, as we had to do in the past, take a shower with your phone up against the shower door so you can see a text that’s coming in, or take your phone with you to the urinal and hold it in one hand while you take care of your business in the other. That’s the life that we live. And that was the life he chose not to do any longer because it takes over your life. 

“You can’t kind of do the job. You have to live the job and he was done living the job. He wants to go live his life and work for a school and give back to younger athletes.”

Simmons couldn’t help himself, mocking Schefter’s passionate speech just minutes into his “Bill Simmons Podcast” on Thursday night following the Patriots-Jets game. 

“You can’t overreact over a Thursday night game,” Simmons said. “You can’t overreact after Adrian Wojnarowski either, like Adam Schefter did. ‘He wanted his life back. He didn’t want to have to work on holidays. He didn’t want to have to be away for more family gatherings. He didn’t want to take a shower with your phone up against the shower door, so you can see a text that’s coming in. Or take your phone with you to the urinal and hold it in one hand, while you take care of your business in the other. That’s the life we live!’

“This is a thing that Adam Schefter said on television. Adrian Wojnarowski, was he an ER doctor during COVID? I wasn’t sure. ’Oh my gosh, the Charlotte GM’s texted me. I gotta hold this piss.’ What happened yesterday? What was that?”

Wojnarowski, 55, announced earlier this week that he was leaving sports journalism to become the general manager of the St. Bonaventure men’s basketball program.

“This craft transformed my life, but I’ve decided to retire from ESPN and the news industry,” Wojnarowski wrote in a statement posted to X. “I understand the commitment required in my role and it’s an investment that I’m no longer driven to make. Time isn’t in endless supply and I want to spend mine in ways that are more personally meaningful.”