'My husband bought me a puppy as an impromptu gift – it was so disrespectful'

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A woman's return of a surprise puppy gift has sparked a debate after her husband's unexpected gesture backfired spectacularly.

The mid-40s woman shared on Reddit how she came home from work to find that her husband had bought her a puppy for her birthday, which led to a heated argument rather than celebration.

She posted: "My husband and I are in our mid-40s and have been married 15 years. Two kids 14 and 11. A couple of years ago our senior dog died."

She continued, explaining their previous conversations about pet ownership, saying: "Since then, we've talked about getting another dog but maybe when the kids graduate high school. Dogs are a huge commitment and I have no time. Kids activities seven nights a week, and I work two jobs (50 hours total). My husband has a full-time job too, but works from home three days a week."

The story took a turn as she described her reaction to the 'surprise'. "Yesterday, I came home to a 'surprise', she said. "A puppy. I felt angry because I made it clear I did not want a dog."

She expressed her frustration, stating that a dog should be a joint decision, not an impromptu gift. "I felt that he disrespected me," she admitted. "He flew into a rage, threatened separation, and spent the night elsewhere."

After a tense confrontation, she said: "He came home today and I apologised for suggesting he got the dog because he wanted it, rather than a heartfelt gift. I told him he needed to return the dog." When the topic of separation arose again, she turned to social media for advice, asking if she was at fault.

One person remarked: "If it truly was a gift he would be apologetic he missed the mark so badly. It clearly was not a gift for you, it was something he wanted and opted to do without agreement or consultation. You clearly are not in a position to appropriately care for a puppy and his reaction is concerning. If he wants to separate over this I have to ask, would you be better off?"

Another pointed out: "You are not wrong for not wanting the dog, as it's a huge commitment. You didn't ask for it and your husband didn't consider your opinion on it. However, I do have a question - Why would your husband threaten separation twice, over a non-issue? Why would he mention that you treat him badly?" They added: "This isn't just about the dog, you two have serious issues and need to work on those, if there is any hope for this marriage to survive."

Chiming in with their perspective, a third commented: "Not wrong for the dog situation but there is a whole lot of stuff missing. Nobody threatens separation that deep into a relationship and voices him feeling you treat him badly for no reason. Regarding what he's saying, it isn't about the dog. This seems like the final straw amongst a lot that you aren't mentioning."

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