Pippa O’Connor says son’s toddler years were ‘hazy’ with grief after her mum's unexpected death

Pippa O'Connor has opened up about the effect that grief took on some of her earliest years as a parent, after the unexpected loss of her beloved mother Louise.

Pippa's mum passed away in October of 2014, when her oldest son Ollie was just a toddler, having recently celebrated his first birthday at the time.

She relayed to Carl Mullan on his podcast Phone Truths that she and her husband Brian Ormond were living in Meath at the time, and she struggles to recall the time between her son turning one and turning two due to grief.

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"I often think I nearly forget Ollie’s first-second year. I always say to Brian, 'Thank God for you at the time because I don’t really remember it.' It was a weird hazy year because it was such a shock."

"It was something that we were not expecting, so to get a phone call like that your whole body just goes into this shock, autopilot mode, weird feeling."

Pippa's mum passed away after a heart attack, aged just 61 at the time.

The model and beauty mogul expressed that grief never goes away, but it is easier to cope with at some times more than others. She added that the ten year mark was deeply saddening after thinking about all that time that had passed without her mum.

"Some months and years that pass are actually okay and now that it’s ten years it feels like it’s such a milestone, I feel as sad as I did back in year one, because you think God, that’s been a whole decade."

"it’s a weird feeling, it’s like the memory of that person is just getting further away so that’s sad."

The mum of three, to sons Ollie, 11, Louis, aged eight, and three-year-old Billy, said she is sad that her mum has missed out on then years of beautiful family moments. However, she is so grateful for the time her mum got with Ollie.

"‘I think now she’d love to see all the grandkids, Billy having his birthday soon, a real rollercoaster of emotions," she said.

"I think sometimes when someone’s gone that really emphasises the happy times more, it’s not just when things are sad that makes you sad it’s when something happy happens like the birth of a baby or something cool happening in business that actually can really make me feel sad as well. You feel bad for her for that person for missing those moments."

Grief is notoriously difficult to overcome, and Pippa offered some advice, saying that those going through it must make an effort to be kind to themselves in difficult moments.

"Feel the moment and to not try and resist it and not try and not go, 'Oh it’s been three years so I should be okay.'”

"You might feel okay in year one but then you might feel back at square one in year ten, I think you just have to go with it and be kind to yourself."

"I think you always have to go easy on yourself and give yourself credit for what’s happened and I think depending on how someone has passed away as well, you know if it’s been a shock you may not have dealt with it in the first few years."

Posting to social media to mark the ten year anniversary of her loss, Pippa said: "It’s 10 years since we lost our Mum."

"It feels even harder from the last for some reason.. maybe a decade just feels like such a long time and a feeling of everything becoming more and more distant. It feels like only months ago in one way."

"I miss her so much, I mostly feel so sad for her, for all she’s missed. She would love to be here to see her gorgeous grandkids."

"Time is a healer they say, I suppose that’s true, but the loss is always there. Grief for me is like rollercoaster, it comes in waves, it has at times felt soft and manageable. Then out of the blue it can hit you like a tonne of bricks."

"If you’ve lost someone special too all you can do is your best , be gentle to yourself but forge on and live a full life. You are stronger than you think."