Cultural embrace: How SA fell in love with Siya and Rachel Kolisi’s union

The couple were loved for embracing each other despite their differences

During a traditional isiXhosa wedding, elders always make it a point to tell the bride when she marries the husband, she also marries his family and the challenges of that particular household.

Rachel Kolisi, though from a different cultural background embodied the sentiment of marrying a family when she married the Springboks captain Siya Kolisi

Last week the couple announced they are separating, news that saddened thousands of South Africans who have watched them build their family. 

As a couple, now 33 and 34, they adopted Siya’s siblings, Liyema and Liphelo. They took the two children under their wing after Siya’s mother Phakama died in 2009. With two of their own children, 10-year-old Nicholas, who Rachel refers to as a “miracle prem baby”, and their “warrior princess” Keziah, the couple built a family while establishing their careers.

Sometimes there is a sentiment that when someone marries outside their race they do not fully embrace new traditions and culture. This was not the reality with Siya and Rachel’s love journey. 

There is a picture of Siya, as a young man during his days of being ikrwala [a Xhosa man who recently underwent traditional initiation] posing with Rachel. He said that was the day he asked her out. That was more than 10 years ago.

The picture used to trend on social media whenever people spoke about love that represented the “started from the bottom and now we are here” phrase. 

During their love journey Rachel embraced the traditions of Siya’s clan. When Siya’s brother underwent the traditional rite to become a man in 2022, Rachel, as a mother, dressed in traditional isiXhosa wear, umbhaco wezibazana.

She embraced her husbands’ tribe regardless.

Rachel leads the Kolisi Foundation, helping feed and provide for poor people, showing she is not ignorant of other people’s realities, specially the background her husband came from growing up in Zwide, a township in Gqeberha in Eastern Cape.

When Siya moved to France in 2023 to play for Racing 92, the family went with him to live in Paris. Siya is known for his love of singing, but his move to the foreign country meant he no longer enjoyed backing from his teammates when singing isiXhosa gwijo (songs). 

Last November, the Bok flanker turned to social media and shared a video singing “labafana aba wrongo (these boys are bad)” with his wife. The video has thousands of views on Instagram and Rachel won fans' hearts with her backing. 

Social media user Nobubele Mlindi wrote: “I love Rachie. Rachel was born at such a time. It's funny how you are teaching us so many things, including values without you knowing. It's a perfect kind of teaching. I do not know how it happens that when we see our captain, we see your reflection more.” 

Siya and Rachel, or “Mariri” as her husband would call her, were loved for embracing each other despite their differences.

It is no surprise that South Africans were saddened by the couple’s decision to separate.

In a statement last week the Kolisis said: “We've grown apart, and our journey has taken us in different directions. We'll always cherish the memories and lessons shared.”

During more than 10 years together, eight years married, they let the public in on their struggles and happy moments as individuals and as a family.

TimesLIVE