Safiyya Vorajee admits feeling 'like she didn't want to be here' after Azaylia's death

Safiyya Vorajee and her ex, Ashley Cain, lost their daughter Azaylia when she was eight months old. Azaylia battled acute myeloid leukaemia

Safiyya Vorajee confessed attending the Pride of Britain Awards can be challenging for her following her daughter Azaylia's tragic death.

The author and Ashley Cain, whose eight-month-old daughter Azaylia tragically died from acute myeloid leukaemia in April 2021, shared their heartbreaking journey on social media. After their daughter's death, Safiyya and the Ex on the Beach star ended up splitting a year later.

Attending the PoB Awards on Monday evening, Safiyya chatted to the Mirror about the difficulty of preparing for such an emotional evening. She said: "The preparation for an emotional evening like this, it can quite difficult, really. Today I've gone down to Azaylia’s garden and said my prayers with her.

"There are certain moments that I have to do to be able to carry it with me. Like this evening, we've just had a beautiful orange sky. Preparing to see such incredible people and unsung heroes is something that gives me fire in my belly to come - it gives me fire all through my cells and my body to actually see so many people get recognized for the incredible bravery that they've actually showed up for."

Safiyya continued: "Obviously losing Azaylia and creating the Azaylia Foundation to actually help all of our children and families across the UK is something that fuels every cell and fibre in my body. I think what happens is, after losing a child and losing my daughter, you actually just sit in the dark. You sit with all your grief, all your depression, all your anxiety, and you have that fear of stepping out into the world, because it's still continuing as much as your world has ended, everything else is going on around you."

She went on to explain the importance for her to show other parents that 'there is light after' tragedy and to have a purpose in life. The star further explained: "You need a purpose, for me anyway, and I am that light for so many people. And I just want to keep showing up. I want to show them it's possible. And through darkness and grief and through mental health, you can end up feeling suicidal. You can sit in times, where I have, where I felt like I didn't want to be here anymore.

"So to be able to come to such a special event like this really shows so many people that no matter what you do, just keep fighting and pulling through and make those special angels like my daughter upstairs."

If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email jo@samaritans.org or visit their site to find your local branch

If you are struggling with mental health, you can speak to a trained advisor from Mind mental health charity on 0300 123 3393 or email info@mind.org.uk

Watch the Daily Mirror Pride of Britain Awards, in partnership with TSB, ITV, on the ITV Hub on Thursday Oct 24 at 8pm.

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