“I used to share a pot with the dog” – Sandra, Selmor share painful childhood experiences in Tuku home

HARARE – Sandra Mtukudzi, the daughter of the late great musician, has revealed that she used to be forced to share a plate with the family pet by her step-mother, Daisy Mtukudzi, who made sure that she did not receive the same privileges as her siblings in the Tuku household.

by · Nehanda Radio

Sandra, is the Tuku’s oldest child from his marriage to Melody Murape. Her sibling, Selmor, has been in the spotlight this week, after she broke down and refused to perform during a festival to honour the late musician.

In an interview with DJ Ollah on his podcast, Sandra and Selmor revealed some harrowing details about their upbringing in the Tuku household, where their mother Daisy ruled with an iron-fist.

On some occasions, Daisy only allowed her to eat food that had been cooked for the family dog, while her siblings, Sam and Samantha, got favourable treatment. Sam (now late) and Samantha are Mtukudzi’s children with Daisy.

“I would be told that I had to share the pot with the dog. We had a dog called Kwanai and while others were eating rice, I would be told that I would get my sadza from the same put as Kwanai,” she said.

On another occasion, Sandra revealed she had got home to discover that her family had moved, leaving her in an unfurnished house.

“I remember an incident that happened when we lived in Kwekwe at a place called Glenwood. I was 16 turning 17 at that time.

“I knew my mum (step mum Daisy) and dad were building in Norton although I didn’t know that there was a house being built during that entire time. Everyone else knew about the house but I didn’t because I wasn’t supposed to know.

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“So when the house was done, I remember they called people from church for a farewell. That’s when I found out that they would be moving but I was not told the date when this would happen.

“Then a few days later I met people in town telling me that they had seen my father around. So I thought that when I arrived home, I would find my parents at home.

“When I got the house was empty. I was so touched. People had gone to their new home and I was left with the garden boy in an empty home.”

Sandra said that when she was young, she even felt that she was beneath the family maid in the pecking order.

“I remember the day, we were told that we were going to a party. As children, we were excited at this but then the next day, we saw only Sam and Samantha preparing for the party.

“I, on the other hand was given a heap of laundry I needed to do. We had a maid but somehow I felt I was below the maid. Even in the house, Sam and Samantha had their rooms that were well prepared but I shared one with the maid.

“It was really painful and this is not just about the bedroom. It felt that I wasn’t appreciated or loved like the other children,” she said.

Sandra said as their father was always on tour, it was sometimes difficult for him to notice the mistreatment they suffered. She said that at times he seemed to be defeated by Daisy.

“I never complained to my friend but sometimes I would notice that he was defeated,” she said.

Selmor, regarded as the most gifted of Tuku’s surviving children, said that the initial snub for the festival made her recall similar incidents in their childhood, whereby she and her sister would be left behind when the rest of the family went on holidays.

“When I saw the flier for me it was painful. At the same time, I thought this is what they do every day. They just do these things on their own.

“Even as kids, we were always left behind. They would leave home with Samantha and Sam and go on holiday and we would be told to stay and look after the home,” she said.