Maura Higgins in heartbreaking admission after 'scary' ordeal led her to 'dark place'
by Samantha Masters · Irish MirrorMaura Higgins has emotionally recalled having thoughts about taking her own life after finding fame on Love Island.
The 33-year-old was a contestant on the fifth series of the show and made it to the final with Curtis Pritchard, who she dated for eight months.
Being one of the stand out stars of the series, major companies reached out to work with Maura, including ITV's This Morning and the fashion brand Boohoo.
In-demand with her new fame, the reality star said that while she was grateful for the opportunities, she struggled with juggling it all, leading her to experience "dark thoughts".
Having to move from her hometown in Ireland to the UK alone, Maura said she "had nowhere to live, no friends, no family [and] nobody I could trust.
"I've done everything by myself. I've been independent my whole life. But that was a lot. That was scary. Very, very scary," she shared.
"And I remember a lot of times I was faking a smile. Work was so busy. I was getting barely any sleep.
"I was chased by the paps everywhere I went. I had no clothes."
At the time, Maura said she was living out of a suitcase filled with the same "crusty" clothes she had on Love Island while moving around multiple hotels.
"It was going from one thing to the next, like, to radio to this photo shoot to you've signed with brands.
"People will say, ‘why didn't you say no?’ But you're in this new world," she recalled.
Opening up to Paul C Brunson on his We Need To Talk podcast, she added: "I had a breakdown. I had dark thoughts, very dark thoughts.
"And it got to a stage where I don't even think I told my mum. I tell my mum everything. I didn't tell her how bad it was."
Pressed further, she said: "I didn't want to be here anymore. I thought that was going to be the best thing.
"There was so much expected from me. And because I was there on my own, I was like, ‘I've just nobody to help’."
Concerned for her wellbeing, Maura's best friend contacted her agent behind her back and demanded a break in her schedule, which she agreed to.
Looking back, the reality star said she wished she didn't take on as many jobs as she did, and now manages a more enjoyable and lighter schedule.
Additionally, after breaking down in front of ITV producers, she thanked the company for their ongoing care and for continuing to work with her.
If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please call the Samaritans for free on 116123.