The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Recap: Don’t Throw Stones

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City
The Huzzbands
Season 5 Episode 7
Editor’s Rating ★★★
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Last week’s episode was a wonderful return to form after an uneven start to the season. A lot happened at Angie’s Mafia anniversary party: Heather got shit from Bronwyn and Mary for pot-stirring, Britani freaked out over her bizarre love triangle (more like just a love angle), and, most importantly, Lisa and Whitney’s fight spiraled so out of control that their husbands almost got into a physical fight. Last week, I said ending the episode with a “To be continued” was a good sign we were back on track this season. Thankfully, this week’s episode is a good enough follow-up, where we see how the post-fight dust will settle.

First off, this episode features no Meredith at all. And the worst part? I only noticed she was absent three-fourths of the way through the episode. She’s checked out even when she is onscreen! Maybe it’s because her life is going well; maybe it’s because last season was traumatic enough. Either way, I wonder when she will re-emerge. We also get almost no Mary this week, and her absence is deeply felt. 

The episode begins with the fight between Whitney/Justin and Lisa/John getting broken up by a very calm Angie, who wants Mary to lead the group in a prayer to bless Angie’s family and marriage. I don’t think they’re even the same type of Christian, but whatever. This reminded me that Mary’s questionable church has not been mentioned once this season! There was a time when that was all anyone could talk about — she’s come so far in her rebrand. 

Despite having to hold hands during Mary’s prayer, watching Lisa and Whitney discussing the aftermath with their husbands makes it clear these two will never see eye to eye. While Lisa overreacted at the party, she mentions that if she truly wanted to discredit Whitney she would’ve gone harder than some rumors on social media. I agree that she likely would have gone to the New York Post or another legitimate tabloid; Lisa Barlow goes for the jugular and loves feeling powerful in pulling strings. It’s her whole thing!

I think Lisa may be in a really sensitive place, as we see later on with the lunch she has with her younger sister, who is giving Mini-Me. Henry has been having a difficult time since Jack’s departure, and my heart breaks when she mentions how nobody wants to come to his birthday party. No wonder Angie’s parenting remarks hit so hard, and Heather telling Lisa feels all the more careless considering Lisa’s emotional state. 

It seems Justin is more upset by the party than Whitney, which makes sense considering how docile these two husbands typically are. I also think Whitney was legitimately shocked by how much the fight escalated. She doesn’t consider what she said to be fully accusing Lisa, as we see later on in the episode when she goes for a walk with Angie and Bronwyn. While yes, she believes Lisa leaked the rumor about her jewelry, she also thinks her bringing that up was objectively a discussion to get Lisa’s side. I don’t know if I agree with that, and ultimately, she should not have brought up such a susceptible subject in that way. 

We also get to see a debrief between Britani and Heather, which further underscores how Britani lives on her own planet. Imagine witnessing that fight at a party, having your friend bring up “the other night,” and believing she is referencing your ex-boyfriend showing up? Truly hilarious stuff. Like many women before her, Heather tries to give it to Britani straight by telling her to let go of Jared and focus on herself, and — SURPRISE! — it’s not well received by Britani who sees real talk as an attack. This exchange made me understand more about how Britani sees her non-relationship with Jared. She truly, in her heart, believes their love is unique and complicated when the reality is simple: This man will barely call you his girlfriend. I do like that she finally admitted to her deep loneliness being why she can’t let go. Finally, some honesty! 

Bronwyn, on the other hand, seems to have found someone she genuinely loves. The scene with Todd endeared me to her a bit more, even though by the end of the episode that faded away. I feel the emotional investment they both have for one another with how they talk about Gwen and Bronwyn’s conflict with the other women. I’m crazy about how quickly she decided not to invite Britani to their tenth-anniversary trip. Yes, Britani is annoying, but she’s so harmless and fragile. Why knock her while she’s down? 

Bronwyn is still a bit of a rookie, and that becomes more apparent as we see her walk with Angie and Whitney. First of all, her coat is really, really ugly and impractical. TOO BIG! The three discuss how much harm Lisa is capable of inflicting during a fight, but I think it’s unfair to make Lisa seem uniquely capable of planting a story. Don’t they all do this in some way or another? It seems a bit overblown, considering Whitney has taken no tangible steps to show that her jewelry isn’t an Alibaba ripoff. Bronwyn stays neutral, which is smart. Still, when the discussion turns to whether she should now reconsider inviting Heather to her anniversary party, I find that a bit harsh. I haven’t been Heather’s biggest fan this season, but excluding the two women in a group who are not partnered is bad optics, PERIOD. Half the people invited don’t even like each other; Heather being there will not make a big difference. 

This episode also provides some non-Jared insight into Britani’s life. This is the first time I can remember seeing the inside of her home all season. Inviting Angie and Heather to her Mormon worship social, I wasn’t sure if they would use a sacred space to argue, but of course, they did. Watching Angie and Heather argue, it’s clear that in their decades of friendship, Angie knows how to deal with Heather. As defensive as Heather begins the conversation, I think bringing up her loyalty to Jen Shah (who gave her a black eye!!) as proof of her flawed judgment hit an undeniable nerve with Heather, who finally relents and shows some introspection. But really, I think Heather is backed into a corner and knows she cannot talk her way out of conflict with Angie. 

Now, the parallel parking is one of my favorite scenes of this season and is masterful editing. As we watched the Land Rover struggle to park, I wondered if Mary drove a Land Rover. I did NOT expect John to be exiting the vehicle, which may make me sexist. 

I was so interested in how a conversation with the very emotionally muted Justin and John would go. When John explains he put his hand on Justin because he saw him take a step forward toward Lisa, it’s like of course! I don’t know if Justin will apologize to Lisa, but I think he should because (call me old-fashioned) a man shouldn’t step toward a woman that way! It’s just scary, no matter what. Their having this entire conversation before the appetizer arrived also made me think about what else these two could talk about outside of their wives. Are they actually friends? Like most husbands on this show, they stop existing to me the second they’re off camera.

Finally, we get to what soured me on Bronwyn a bit. I don’t expect perfection from her, and this messiness is great for the show, but Bronwyn played like an amateur here. But first, I want to talk about the way her dogs shit in her home. I don’t have dogs, and I know dog owners can get a bit scary when they feel judged, so I’m asking this very gently: Is it normal to be that chill about dog shit and piss in your home? She has eight big dogs and really expensive furniture! I guess if you’re that rich, it doesn’t matter. 

Now, regarding her discussion with Heather. Bronwyn has been mostly correct to feel suspicious and wronged by Heather, but she handled this poorly. I don’t think you should invite someone to your home to have a talk and start off with being that disrespectful. Bronwyn opens up the discussion about whether or not they could move forward as friends by tossing Heather a “For us to move forward, I have to say it was messy” when Heather doesn’t demand anything; it is a dishonest way to frame their fight. Then, she demands that Heather admit she was wrong. Did Bronwyn invite Heather there for a discussion or to be punished? 

However, what really puts me off is bringing up how she’s unsure if she will invite Heather to her planned anniversary trip. What a truly tacky thing to say out loud! It’s extremely childish and makes it seem like she doesn’t want to make amends with Heather but that she wants to win their fight and have the other women sour on Heather in a bigger way. 

Bronwyn doesn’t realize she handed Heather some pretty good ammo to get the girls to turn on her. I think she is short-sighted by seeing how most of the women feel (at best) lukewarm towards Heather as permission to exclude Heather from hanging out with them. Bronwyn barely knows most of them, and I think she underestimates the history they all share with Heather Gay, who they all ultimately love. 

In previews for the next episode, the couples all go to California for Bronwyn and Todd’s anniversary trip. I don’t think we’ve seen a couples trip with this crowd, and I am very much looking forward to whatever happens between Lisa and Bronwyn, who seem to really get into it.