I'm Summoning The Witches After Cackling At These 39 Funny Tweets From The Week
by Alana Valko · BuzzFeedWelp, it was another silly little week in this silly little life of ours.
There was no shortage of funny tweets last week, so let's get right on into 'em:
1.
My vegetarian sister discovered we were all in a separate group chat without her, sharing delicious food photos, called Secret Meat Up https://t.co/zzayRO8g8A
— scary sarah (@sarahradz_) October 15, 2024
2.
takeout container for pad see ew with tofu almost pissed me off… pic.twitter.com/rnHQ7PQvld
— hal (@tinned__fish) October 15, 2024
3.
I think crumbl cookies be baking they shit in a easy bake oven
— , (@sgrate_) October 16, 2024
4.
“And it’s gonna ask you a question” https://t.co/Quv9cUp67v
— ☔️ (@Hennidickarnold) October 19, 2024
5.
Imma tell my grandkids this was Ronald McDonald pic.twitter.com/p099XirLhl
— Liam Nissan™ (@theliamnissan) October 21, 2024
6.
pic.twitter.com/Kioc6LXdga
— Ben Yahr (@benyahr) October 20, 2024
7.
Girl we don’t have houses 😭 https://t.co/BYrSbX0hE2
— 𑁍 (@luuucas1k) October 19, 2024
8.
pic.twitter.com/1LjbTPn1JO
— chaotic memes (@memechaotic) October 14, 2024
9.
pilates instructor explained the correct form for an exercise as imagining we were holding out two drinks while keeping a strapless dress from falling. women are incredible...
— layla (@laylology) October 14, 2024
10.
female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder
— jynx (@jynxbby) October 19, 2024
11.
https://t.co/FdlTHIujBA pic.twitter.com/plGKsSlWqM
— Jay Cuda (@JayCuda) October 19, 2024
12.
Someone in california stole my debit card info and used it to pay their bills and buy $90 of fucking weinerschnitzel pic.twitter.com/cXU39WXBAW
— wiwi🩸 (@STAGSBANE) October 19, 2024
13.
My therapist always starts our session with “How are you?” and I always say “I’m good!” and then spend the next hour talking about how I am decidedly Not Good.
— Jamie (@spacej_me) October 15, 2024
14.
ME: I don’t think a Muppet “West Side Story” works because it would start to assign race/class value to the different types of Muppets, and that doesn’t at all align with their established worldview
THERAPIST: ok so like I said we’re gonna up your dosage
— Zach Raffio (@zachraffio) October 19, 2024
15.
walking thru the park to pick up psych meds i said out loud "i love fall!!" and a voice from the bushes said "me too!!" really enthusiastically and they were like "sorry im just smoking weed" when i screamed
— valentine (@tinyaltgirl) October 15, 2024
16.
smoking weed when you're a boy with long hair must be like damn i'm so fuckin high and im a boy with long hair
— x_c4tb0yTH0Ti3_x (@vampiric_shirin) October 14, 2024
17.
being a guy and calling another guy “brother”… I bet that feels so nice
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) October 16, 2024
18.
why was my bacon giving saddam hussein hiding spot pic.twitter.com/cYPizsDYMx
— jc (@laut_zeug) October 15, 2024
19.
this is how it feels to blow ur nose in public pic.twitter.com/Hr40qHMR08
— requa (@rationalthot96) October 18, 2024
Twitter: @rationalthot96 / Via steamcommunity.com
20.
dreamt you could go into the gas station to buy a picture of yourself pumping gas that they automatically took of every customer, like the polaroid you can buy after a rollercoaster ride
— hil (@plume__) October 15, 2024
21.
Not to be dramatic but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life
— Sophie Hall-oween 🎃 (@SophLouiseHall) October 18, 2024
22.
men love saying let’s fucking go. yes. let’s fucking go to therapy big dog
— maha (@mahaaaay) October 19, 2024
23.
Society really is improving pic.twitter.com/ay7i6OH7Hj
— tangerine 🔥 (@himerinniki) October 15, 2024
Halloween Costumes / @himerinniki / Via halloweencostumes.com
24.
Just discovered that my bf is more or less incapable of sitting criss cross applesauce and I said “text your boys rn and see if they can sit criss cross applesauce” and he said “okay but I’m going to say cross legged instead” masculinity is such a prison
— maddie, hot dog enthusiast (@damnitmadeline) October 19, 2024
25.
haircare is so fucking funny . put this goo on your head . now put this goo on your head . now put this goo on your head . now put thi
— bug 🐛🐞🦋🪲🔆 (@bonnibloop_) October 19, 2024
26.
I’m looking into adopting a dog, and grill master dave……. he’s calling to me…….. pic.twitter.com/VrVlMOLuAJ
— isabel (@garbage_person) October 17, 2024
27.
Ever since I was a little kid I knew that I wanted to be late for work
— Robes Pierre (@itsflanagain) October 15, 2024
28.
ever since i was young i wanted to transform unstructured data into actionable business insights
— sophie (@netcapgirl) October 15, 2024
29.
i would love to be paid $30 an hour to turn one screw on an assembly line for the rest of my life to be completely honest with you
— ape attack survivor (@pissvortex) October 14, 2024
30.
it’s my birthday but did i stun in new photo? please pop crave tell me I stunned its all i want for my birthday https://t.co/4Jcr80maZU
— Vincent Martella (@vince_martella) October 15, 2024
@vince_martella / Disney / Via Twitter: @vince_martella
31.
It's my daughter's birthday and she came home from preschool and told me "If it's your birthday on the day when the goats come, you get to have one stand on your back." And yes that SOUNDS like crazy talk but I did find this in my email: pic.twitter.com/UjKZ4w2XVb
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) October 18, 2024
32.
thanks dad pic.twitter.com/boMv4n9TDz
— sully (@thisissully_) October 15, 2024
33.
in our WORK group chat this had me cryinggggggg https://t.co/LW0dEvSYaX pic.twitter.com/aZc98achrR
— your favorite hater (@rachelxx7_) October 17, 2024
34.
nvm just remembered i have free will https://t.co/XYuZXK0E1O
— RB. (@RachealBakunzi) October 19, 2024
35.
my boyfriend will whisper “bye room” when we’re leaving the hotel we stayed in for 1 night
— chase (@_chase_____) October 15, 2024
36.
putting these babies on and walking really really slowly on campus. and when people get irritated and pass me i just gesture at the boots and shrug https://t.co/tcsuUMgsLO
— nico 🇵🇸 (@strongerpotions) October 16, 2024
37.
stop my fuck ass grandma is going to believe this https://t.co/11VEHYpdwj
— ✭ ✭ ✭ (@DISCOCOW3OY) October 17, 2024
38.
THE WHITE PEOPLE PHRASES TIER LIST IS COMPLETE pic.twitter.com/wNGMTTrZw6
— Sock Day in 6 Days (@SockTiger) October 17, 2024
39.
Getting emails from work with “urgent” in the subject while I’m curating my upcoming ig post… wait your turn pic.twitter.com/3Ap9pocYsd
— balkanka (@missuonmylips) October 15, 2024
Fox / Via Twitter: @missuonmylips
For more funny tweets from the week, check out our most recent roundups (and don't forget to shoot these creators a follow!):
I'm Snickering Alone In My Room At These 30 Funny Tweets From The Week