Late Night Weighs In on Trump’s Cabinet Picks

Jimmy Kimmel called President-elect Trump’s choices thus far “a real cast of no character.”

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Trump Stocks His Cabinet

Less than a week after winning the election, President-elect Donald J. Trump has begun announcing members of his next cabinet.

Jimmy Kimmel called them “a real cast of no character” on Monday, saying they would “soon be hired and then fired by Trump.”

“President-elect Trump has named Susie Wiles as his White House chief of staff, making her the first woman in history to ever have that role. Yeah. She’ll also make history as the first female chief of staff to quit after three weeks and write a tell-all book.” — JIMMY FALLON


“Wiles has Trump’s trust because she was his 2024 campaign manager. So she was the mastermind who put Trump in a garbage man costume and had him dance to ‘Ave Maria’ — and it worked. And I don’t know what anything means anymore.” — STEPHEN COLBERT


“The thing is, Wiles may not be the worst choice for this job, and not just because the worst choice was elected president. Reportedly, reportedly, during the campaign, Wiles worked to keep particularly divisive fringe conservatives out of Trump’s orbit. For instance, she lured Rudy Giuliani away from Trump using a bottle of Cabernet dressed up as a sexy lady.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Former Congressman Lee Zeldin of New York is Trump’s pick to lead the Environmental Protection Agency. According to the League of Conservation Voters, of 26 House representatives from New York, Lee Zeldin had the worst record on environmental issues by far — so he’ll be in charge of protecting the environment, of course.” — JIMMY KIMMEL


“In a new post to Truth Social, President-elect Trump said that he will not invite former U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley to join his administration. Well, he did offer her the position of secretary. That’s it — just secretary.” — SETH MEYERS

The Punchiest Punchlines (POTUS Confab Edition)

“On Wednesday, President Biden will host Donald Trump at the White House for a traditional post-election meeting. I don’t want to tell Trump what to do, but if I were him, bring a few bottles of Febreze.” — GREG GUTFELD


“The White House announced that President Biden will host President-elect Trump on Wednesday in the Oval Office, but he’s drawing the line at putting out snacks.” — SETH MEYERS


“Joe Biden and Donald Trump are scheduled to meet in the Oval Office on Wednesday. Trump wants Joe’s advice on which couches to hide from JD Vance.” — JIMMY KIMMEL


“According to the Presidential Transition Enhancement Act, which I didn’t know existed, the incoming president has to sign a pledge that says he will avoid conflicts of interest and other ethical concerns while he is in office, which is hilarious. I mean, it’s like asking a bear to sign something promising to protect the salmon.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

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