Martine McCutcheon reveals she lost herself following divorce

Martine McCutcheon revealed she lost her sense during her relationship and opened up about how she is learning to love herself again.

The actress, 48, explained that she was trying to remind herself that she was enough after a difficult year. 

The Love Actually star also explained that she had previously felt pressured to live up to other people's standards and was now much happier 'saying no' and being herself.

This is the first time the star has spoken out since her divorce from her estranged husband Jack McManus.

Speaking on The Showercast podcast, Martine said: 'I was always enough, I was always loveable, I didn't have to be all those things I thought needed to be.

'I definitely think that everybody thinks that their version of you is the right version of you and that's not just something that happens when you're well known or you're in the public eye.

'It can happen within families.'

The star went on to explain that she had felt molded by other people's expectations of her and had previously been branded 'difficult'.

She said: 'They can project onto you that you're the difficult one, or you're the black sheep of the family, or you're the star, or you're the one that keeps everything together.

'And I would just say to myself and to anybody that I loved that you're more than anybody else's projections of you, any lazy labels.

'That might be their favourite part of you or favourite version of you but you're more than one thing. You're complex, you're complicated, you're multi-faceted and you owe it to yourself to be all of you, no apologies.'

Martine's comments come after she revealed her husband Jack had left her after 18 years together - days after she wrote a heartfelt birthday tribute for him in August.

Discussing her struggles in the wake of the split, Martine admitted anxiety made her a 'recluse'.

She recalled she was feeling as if she was 'losing her mind' as she was overcome by 'huge fear' while dealing with perimenopause symptoms.

Speaking in an interview with BBC Radio 4's Woman’s Hour, Martine revealed: 'I didn’t want to answer my phone.

Read More

Martine McCutcheon admits she went into 'complete denial' about life-changing diagnosis

'I didn’t want to answer the front door, go outside and I would panic out of nowhere and have to pull over when I was driving because I felt this huge fear and couldn’t breathe.

'I genuinely felt I was losing my mind. I didn’t know if I really was or if it was something that was perimenopausal.'

She added: 'It would just come on out of nowhere and when I spoke to my specialist about it she said, "You know this is sadly the case for many women".'

Announcing their split, she wrote in a statement: 'After much thought and consideration, Jack has decided it's best for us to separate after 18 years together and I accept his decision.'

'We are both so very blessed and grateful for our beautiful, 9 year old son Rafferty, who's happiness and welfare, has always been, and will continue to be, our number 1 priority.'

She continued: 'We both of course, still cherish and look forward to being parents together to our wonderful boy for the rest of our lives...

'Whilst this decision has evolved over a period of time, we are still finding our new way forward as a family and kindly ask for some privacy at this time... Especially for our little boy.

'Our love for Rafferty, is something that will never, waver, or change and we obviously want to protect him and help him feel as safe and secure as possible.

'Many thanks in advance for your respect and support, at this difficult time...And I continue to send Jack, all the love, luck and happiness for the next chapter of his.

'Rafferty and I (as always,) are rooting for you!

'Thank you all, for the love and support, now and always...Martine.xx.'

Speaking exclusively to MailOnline at the time of Martine's statement, Jack had said: 'There is nothing more to add. I will not be saying anything more about this.'

The couple married in 2012 in Italy's picturesque Lake Como, five years after they started dating.

Elsewhere in the podcast Martine revealed she was 'told I would never be able to have children' as she opened up about becoming a mother to her son Rafferty.

Martine said holding Rafferty for the first time 'topped everything' she had ever done in her career or life before that moment.

The actress explained how she 'always felt like being a mother would be the making of her' and after meeting her bundle of joy for the first time she felt 'no love like it'.

Speaking on the wellness podcast, Martine said: 'The thing that topped everything was holding my son for the first time. I was told I would never be able to have children and I always felt like being a mother would be the making of me.'