“Overheard My In-Laws Expressing Their True Feelings About Me”

04 Oct 2024, 10:06 by Rokas Laurinavičius, Gabija Palšytė · Bored Panda

When you marry someone, you also enter a relationship with their family, for better or worse.

Reddit user hArrietsmellss recently shared her story on r/AmIwrong, revealing how her husband’s relatives gradually eroded her sense of belonging.

Despite juggling three jobs to support the household, she overheard her in-laws badmouthing her behind her back, namely, criticizing her contributions to chores.

The woman said the last straw came after she revealed what happened to her partner, but he defended their toxic behavior.

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Image credits: Lisa Fotios

“Overheard my in-laws expressing their true feelings about me”

“I (24F) recently attended my MIL’s birthday party. I spent 6 hours making her cake. There were about 25 guests, and after everyone had lunch, I went to the kitchen and did all the dishes. My FIL took a photo of me and sent it to a group with people I don’t know with the caption. “There is a first for everything.” I walked out to his whole family, talking about me behind my back.

I spoke with my husband (28M), and he said that they are just trying to support him because they feel I don’t do enough chores at home. He said they dealt with it in the wrong way, but they had the best intentions. We have been together for 5 years, and we have a 3-year-old.

His grandparents called me to drop some warm clothes off for our son the next week, and when I walked into their home, I heard my FIL talking to his dad. He said, “When she wanted to leave, I thought it’s best she just f*ck off.” His father then responded “But what about their son” to which my FIL responded, “She’s the type of woman to take the child but she also the type of woman to palm him off to other people so (my husband) would get him back soon enough”.

How do I navigate this? I don’t want to stay in a relationship with a family that is toxic. He has spoken with his family multiple times over the years about how they treat me, but nothing changes.

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Image credits: freepik / pexels (not the actual photo)

EDIT: I’ve been told to add to the post that I work 3 jobs to support us, so I’m home a lot less than him and have a lot less spare time. Also, something I missed was that the birthday party was not hosted by me. It was at their house. I was a guest and had no obligation to do dishes. I definitely do fewer chores than he does due to my work schedule.”

Credits: hArrietsmellss

As the story went viral, its author shared more information in the comments

People shared their support and advice, encouraging her to prioritize her own well-being

Ultimately, the woman released an update, sharing that she had decided to take control of her situation

“I had a conversation with him this morning about his family having supervised visits with our son, and he wasn’t happy. He thinks I’m punishing his whole family for something a few of his family members did. I was super upset with the lack of support, again, and decided he was never going to make me or my feelings his priority and thought it best to leave.

Everything in the house belongs to me, but his parents paid our rent yesterday to help him without me knowing, so now I have to move out. He doesn’t think it’s healthy living in a house with someone he’s trying to “get over” so I’m currently trying to figure out how to save for another rental with first months rent and a deposit which is just under $1000 USD. It’s not small money for me, and I don’t have savings since everything I make/made goes into the home. I know there will be a lot of drama soon with his family since I’ve made this decision, and if anyone is interested, I will provide updates.”

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