'My boyfriend was keeping life-changing secret from me – I wish I'd never found out'

A woman was left heartbroken and 'crying' when she realised that her partner had hidden his two children from her - and she desperately didn't want to be a step-mum

Keeping secrets from your other half is not a good foundation for a relationship.

Too much deceit can be devastating for a partnership as one woman found out when she looked at her partner's Facebook profile when he wasn't there.

She explained that she was 31 and her partner was 37, and they'd been together for six months, which is plenty of time to discuss things such as previous relationships and personal details. However, her boyfriend had been keeping two major secrets from her – his children.

Taking to Quora, the woman explained: "Last night, I opened his Facebook account, which I don't usually do because I trust him, and I accidentally found out he has two kids. The oldest is 18. I checked the daughter's profile, and it broke me when I saw their family portrait posted in 2019."

She shared that she spent some time coming to terms with what she had seen but then decided she would talk to him about it, as she felt as though she deserved to know the truth about the man she was with.

"I confronted him after crying, and he said he was married at the age of 18, but it didn't work out, and the ex-wife already had her own family," she explained.

The woman said that she did love him, but she was devastated that he hadn't been "honest from the beginning" and shared that she didn't want to be a step-mum as it would be a major change to her everyday life.

"Has anyone experienced this type of situation? How did you move on and cope?" she asked the forum. Turns out, she's not the only one to have been in this predicament.

One woman shared that she'd been through something similar, writing: "For me personally, I would exit the relationship. 6 months is enough time to share that you have 2 kids and were married prior. That should be a given! If he’s hiding something this major, I’d be concerned about what else he is hiding.

"I met a guy and dated him for 6 months and found out he was engaged and living a double life! I was the perfect target because I'm a nice girl and always see the best in people . Sometimes, men who are looking to cheat and maintain a dishonest lifestyle pick girls who don’t question them a lot. I hope you take this as a big red flag."

Another also urged her to leave him, even though she loves him. She said: "I’m so sorry to hear this. If it was me I would leave. He might be a good guy, but ultimately, he had some big secrets, so at best, he’s a weak guy, and he is still a dishonest one. I would never be able to trust him with the small things if I couldn’t trust him with the big things. It's not about you being a stepmum. It's about him hiding things."

Someone else said: "Dang. Move on from him. He's a piece of s**t for not being truthful from the beginning", while another Quora user simply typed out a bunch of red flag emojis.