Late Night Braces for Trump 2.0

How are the late-night hosts coping with the fact they’re going to have to do approximately four to infinity years of Trump comedy again? In the words of Dorinda Medley, “Not well, bitch.” Last Week Tonight, Late Night With Seth Meyers, The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, After Midnight, The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, The Daily Show, and Jimmy Kimmel Live! all had segments addressing the audience directly in the wake of Donald Trump’s election and Kamala Harris’s concession. The hosts had to balance their own despair with their roles as Guy Who Tells Us Jokes So We Can Sleep. Here’s how we’re all dealing.

Last Week Tonight

In the first Last Week Tonight episode since the election, John Oliver found a bit of levity blaming Katy Perry and only Katy Perry. “Personally, I kind of would like to imagine that everything that happened on Tuesday is Katy Perry’s fault because at Kamala’s Election Eve rally, she did this ill-advised cover,” he said, before playing Perry’s cover of Whitney Houston’s “The Greatest Love of All.” And honestly, we get the instinct. One of the only ways this country has come together this year has been in our universal rejection of Perry’s “Woman’s World” and associated 143 album roll-out. Unite the country, Mr. Oliver!

Late Night With Seth Meyers: ‘Let’s Fucking Go’

“Welp!” That’s how Seth Meyers started Late Night. Meyers also joked about having gone to an election watch party. Can you imagine? He said watching results come in was “like Christmas Eve, if you know on Christmas morning you’re either going to wake up to find that Santa left presents under the tree or to find that Santa just took a huge dump in your fireplace.” Meyers said doing his job, even under these circumstances, is a privilege. “This is a joyful place to work,” he said. “We’re not going to let anything take that joy away, even when we’re not talking about things that are not particularly joyful.” Meyers said the show’s mission is to find laughter and joy: “Let’s fucking go.”

Desi Lydic on The Daily Show: A ‘Waking Nightmare’

Lydic got the second bite of the despair apple, as Jon Stewart was live last night. Lydic called the world a “waking nightmare.” “Looks like at this point, it’s starting to feel like we’re going to get every other first before we get a first woman president,” she said. “First Amish president, first Wahlberg president. Hey, there’s no rule that says a dog can’t be president.” Also? the rules about who can or cannot be president appear to be constantly changing, so there’s that. 

After Midnight: Sorry, Scorpios

Tomlinson started out by offering her condolences to anyone who has a birthday this week. “I will say it is an honor to be on television while women are still allowed,” she said. Tomlinson said she started rewatching Game of Thrones to calm down, “like maybe this will give me some perspective.”

The Late Show With Stephen Colbert: ‘You Are Not Alone’

Colbert opened by admitting he’s doing “not great.” But he also expressed gratitude for having his job and getting to surround himself with so many funny people. “Some people said to me, ‘Sorry you have to do a show tonight,’ which is nice of them to say. But I don’t have to do a show. I get to do a show tonight,” he said. “I’m so grateful to be with all these talented people.” 

The Tonight Show: America Is Back With Their Crazy Ex

Jimmy Fallon compared Trump getting reelected to people getting back with “their crazy ex.” He said “No matter who you voted for, we can all agree: It’s gonna be a rough Thanksgiving.” Fallon said it was a huge comeback “for someone who never went away.” 

Jimmy Kimmel Live!: ‘I’m Leaving the Country’

Jimmy Kimmel Live! started with a cold open where Kimmel said he was fleeing the country. Kimmel said last night was the worst Taco Tuesday of his life, and that Trump is like Emperor Palpatine: “He’s old, he’s evil, and he keeps coming back with no reasonable explanation.” Kimmel also said his son shouted “Fuck!” when he found out Trump won.