Love Is Blind Recap: (Sleep) Testing My Patience

Love Is Blind
Week 2 (Episodes 7-9)
Season 7 Episodes 7 - 9
Editor’s Rating ★★★★★
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I’m not saying the last batch of episodes was a total snoozefest, but Netfix definitely has me more awake this week. Call me Stephen, the way I’m not passing a sleep test. Conflict is compelling, and once we get back to D.C., there’s a lot of it. Love Is Blind is marketed as an experiment about whether physical appearance matters, but in practice, I think it’s a show about all the other reasons relationships don’t work out. How much are people capable of ignoring (or hiding!) because they want to believe they’ve found “the one”? If some of this season’s couples make it to the altar, it’ll prove that love really can be blind … to glaring signs of incompatibility.

On that happy note, it’s our last day in Cabo. Most of the couple dates are just romantic fluff. There’s a bit more weight to Tim and Alex’s outing, given that he was considering breaking their engagement off that morning. We’re supposed to believe that their drive over a bridge represents them crossing over to a fresh start. I’m not convinced. Having a major fight like that two days in? Woof. (Sorry, I had to.) 

Meanwhile, Stephen’s starting to annoy Monica. She doesn’t feel like he’s fulfilling his pod promise to get her flowers. She insists that she doesn’t expect fancy gifts from a guy who doesn’t know who Louis Vuitton is; she just wants to feel special. “You’re right,” he says, which is becoming his catchphrase. He’s feeling nervous about getting married, which puts Monica on edge. She later gets irritated during a group hangout when she asks him to watch fireworks with her, but he doesn’t stop chatting with Garrett. “Thank you so much for the romance!” Monica says afterward with a chilling smile. Stephen’s subsequent apology ends in a weird ramble about homewrecking women wanting to suck the dicks of guys who go on reality TV. 

Back to D.C.! 

We’re three weeks out from weddings, and the couples are settling into their shared apartments, showing each other their own living spaces, and meeting each other’s family and/or friends. There’s so much to unpack, so let’s take it couple by couple, from the people I think are least to most likely to stay together. (My mind can be changed! Sound off in the comments.) 

6. Stephen and Monica
At first, it seems like things are looking up. A pressed flower workshop is actually a really cute way to make up for not getting Monica the flowers she’s been hinting about nonstop. But Stephen kind of ruins it by hopefully suggesting in a confessional that he could be rewarded with sex. The date ends with Stephen dragging his tongue across Monica’s lips. “Yum,” she says.

Stephen got fired while in Cabo, but he’s confident he can get another job, and Monica’s happy to be his “sugar mama” until then. They have an odd conversation about sex that leads to Stephen suggesting that the pain of childbirth barely comes close to what it’s like for men to have colds. And I feel like this is the fifth time I’ve heard Stephen bring up kinks and say he’s okay with being treated like a piece of meat? If he wants Monica to be his dom, he should just say that. Though, to be fair, it seems like she wants to hold off on sleeping with him again until he feels more solid about marriage. 

The next scene is bonkers. We’re thrown right into the action with no context. Taylor is comforting a distraught Monica about something “disgusting” Stephen did … while Stephen is in the background grabbing something from the kitchen. It turns out that Monica saw dirty, fetish-filled texts he sent to another woman. One thing about a guy who says he’s “technically” a cheater? He’s going to keep “technically” cheating.

Stephen claims that he made this “stupid mistake” because he was drunk … at a … sleep test. Mind you, a quick Google says that sleep centers typically ask study participants to either consume no alcohol beforehand or just the amount normally consumed on a daily basis. You’re not supposed to get wasted. Also, Monica points out that the texts continued until today. Stephen can’t even think of a new excuse on the spot. This is so embarrassing. 

Monica gets him to Venmo her the money he owes her, and I need to know what he put in the transaction note. Stephen says he shouldn’t have done the show and that he doesn’t deserve much. Are we supposed to feel bad for him?? He leaves Monica to sob under a blanket, which is Taylor’s cue to come back, this time with Garrett. I wonder if it’s awkward for Stephen to pass them in the hallway? I’m just glad Monica doesn’t have to go through this alone on camera.

5. Hannah and Nick 
Hannah — who must have pissed off someone on the camera crew, given how committed they are to showing us that her shoes are dirty — says she’s more mature, emotionally intelligent, and intelligent than Nick. She keeps circling back around to say she loves Nick, but I don’t know if she likes him very much. If he could mount a TV, she’d definitely like him more.

Hannah has known from the jump that Nick still lives with his mom and dad. He’s not embarrassed about showing her around as a 28-year-old living in his parents’ basement (which he moved into a couple years ago … from his childhood room upstairs). I think the problem for Hannah is that he seems content with where he’s at. Nick questions what the benefit of paying some of his own bills would be if his parents are willing to do it. Hannah has been financially independent since she was 18, and she’s ready to school him on stocks. Plus, he’s falling short of her cleaning and pasta-boiling expectations, too. 

I think meeting each other’s family and friends is validating for these two. Hannah’s brother Cade (an icon who deserves his own show) admits that she sometimes doles out more shit than she can take, while Nick’s sweet mom admits that her son may be a little pampered. Hannah’s other family members, whom we meet separately, also want her to ease up on Nick — and not mention toe-sucking at the table, please. I know Nick says he likes that Hannah pushes him, but I just don’t see Hannick lasting. 

4. Marissa and Ramses
One of the first scenes we see after this couple moves in is Marissa jokingly calling Ramses anti-Black for not vibing with her dream wedding color scheme. But there’s a tone shift during dinner at their new apartment. At first, they’re just talking about wedding stuff; they agree that their ceremony will not be officiated by a cis-hetero. But then we learn that Marissa was raised Mormon, and an interesting conversation about religion quickly becomes an even more interesting conversation about the military.

Marissa isn’t cool with “half the shit” the U.S. military does, but she also wants to be proud of her Navy service. Ramses pushes back against the idea that people who sign up for the military should be separated from the actions they’re commanded to take; Marissa starts to feel “uncomfy” and “judged.” She’s clearly on a journey to unpack her own feelings about the role the military has played in her life. But also, Marissa is someone who didn’t fully realize that she doesn’t want a patriarchal man until Barbie. Not sure she’s going to change her mind about the morality of supporting the troops over one “al-a dente” pasta dish.

Marissa says she couldn’t handle Ramses being ashamed of her service, and he carefully says he wouldn’t want anyone to feel shame about their past — as long as it’s in the past. If she joined the reserves, he couldn’t be with her. When Marissa’s friends meet him, they initially seem shocked that he considers this a divorce-worthy dealbreaker. But after hearing his point of view (he talks about being Venezuelan, brings up Palestine, and affirms that he will always stand with people who are “under the hammer of U.S. imperialism”), they also have concerns about how Ramses and Marissa can get married and raise kids if they’re not fully on the same page. I’m stunned that these two haven’t discussed this topic before. Yes, Ramses explained that he didn’t want her military service to define her in the pods. But what about Cabo? On their yacht date, she reminisced about having sweet Navy memories and mentioned that most of her friends are military. Ramses kissed her right afterward. Have … have they just been too horny to bring it up? 

Ultimately, Marissa tells her friends that Ramses is the right person for her, in contrast to exes she wasn’t morally aligned with. I guess she dated a hardcore Trump supporter before, so maybe this feels like less of an issue? When Ramses meets Marissa’s family, her mom is definitely more focused on grilling him about whether he would get a prenup to prove that he’s not a gold digger. Marissa and all her siblings can’t stop this woman from sharing her blunt opinions on everything from his hair to the concept of a lasting marriage. If these two make it to the altar, I’m definitely going to need to hear Marissa’s mom’s toast.

Anyway, I think the military thing is a big enough obstacle, but Marissa later tells Ramses that she doesn’t want to go on birth control. He isn’t okay with having kids as soon as she is, but has hesitations about condom sex. Their physical connection was one thing I thought could keep them together despite other challenges, so … 

3. Alex and Tim 
Alex has been stressed all season about introducing Tim to her family, and her dad, Richard, isn’t hiding how he feels about this whole experiment at all. (I’ve always thought Alex’s face was very easy to read when she’s irritated. Now we know where she gets it from.) Still, Tim’s strength is that he knows how to keep his cool. And he sounds so sincere when he says Alex is the person he wants next to him on the worst day of his life. He successfully charms Alex’s family, and makes her dad cry when he reads a letter he wrote in the pods asking for his blessing. “I accept you as my son,” Richard says.

God, if it weren’t for that fight in Cabo, I would be SO excited about these two. However, I still feel unsure that Alex and Tim’s personalities really match. And when they show each other their living spaces, it feels like there’s some hesitation. She’s not thrilled about the dog portrait or the brown leather recliners, and Tim keeps his place much more organized than she does. At this point, though, they’ve put so much into this relationship. He poured his heart out in that letter and gave her his late sister’s bracelet. She introduced him to her dad, who she clearly cares about a lot and would not put on camera for no reason. It feels like Alex and Tim might just make it all the way to the altar just to make all these efforts worth it. 

2. Tyler and Ashley 
These two were super cute while jokingly negotiating over wedding plans and who gets to choose their son’s name. Tyler assures Ashley’s dad that he’s going to protect her emotions. Ashley’s dad gives his blessing and says he’ll fall back as long as his baby girl is happy.

But once again, we get thrown straight into the aftermath of some off-camera drama. Like Ashley, I did not see this coming. Ashley’s sobbing because Tyler did not tell her … he has THREE kids?? WHAT? Oh, okay, they were sperm-donor babies. That feels a lot better, just because I was so shocked at first. But Ashley is now questioning how much she can trust the entire relationship if he could keep this secret. She’s had to take some space to sort out her thoughts alone. We don’t know how she found out, but apparently he knows the parents personally, and Ashley hasn’t seen any documents proving that he’s not involved with these children. Ashley says hiding this is not something she can forgive, and Tyler asks for another chance. She initiates a hug, and they still say they love each other. But is that enough? 

For the record, there were already allegations on social media before this week’s episodes aired that Tyler was very much an active father, not a sperm donor — but even if that’s true, I’m not convinced that he would tell Ashley that. I’m still putting them in second because as long as Tyler convinces Ashley that he’s not part of these kids’ lives, I think it’s very possible that they can bounce back after crying and praying together.

1. Taylor and Garrett
And here’s the couple I think is most likely to stay together, and not just because Taylor bravely abstains from bullying Garrett about his Fishstagram (though I do think that’s a sign of real love).

Garrett’s family members definitely have their guard up when they meet Taylor — his mom even cries — but Taylor is a boss-ass bitch who doesn’t buckle under pressure. Sure, Garrett’s speech about his atoms being in love or whatever is nice, but Taylor validates and addresses their concerns about Love Is Blind’s “expedited timeline” much more directly. She’s interviewing for the position of Garrett’s wife. She has her talking points ready, okay?

Taylor shows Garrett her basement apartment and talks about how she wants to raise a family in San Diego. He was excited about the move in the pods, but his family’s worries about him leaving the state are weighing on him. Ultimately, however, he decides he’d rather lean in than risk losing Taylor. I do feel like Garrett’s going through an extra extreme version of Love Is Blind — he should get to experience life in San Diego a little longer before making what sounds like some big career and business decisions.

Still, they’re getting such a cute, domestic edit that I feel cautiously optimistic. Taylor’s friends definitely approve. We have to have at least one couple that makes it, right? I could also see them saying no at the altar but getting married on their own timeline. That’s never happened before on this show, but if anyone could do it, I think it would be these two. 

Lock in your predictions! We’re headed to the altar(s?) next week. 

Extra Engaged

• Forget the books on African culture, I think Stephen should probably check out some books on self-sabotage. Maybe he can borrow some of Taylor’s titles on social and emotional intelligence! Her collection also includes titles like Discipline Is Destiny and Super Attractor, and Nick has a copy of Divergent if that helps somehow.

• My apartment is shoes-off, so maybe my perspective is limited — is it normal to sweep and vacuum every day and deep clean every week? Hannah’s cleaning routine sounds exhausting. 

• In the preview, Ramses and Marissa seem to be at a crossroads about sex, Alex is arguing with a blank-faced Tim, Hannah and Nick are clashing about jealousy/maturity again, and even Taylor and Garrett seem to be having some sort of disagreement. God, is anything positive going to happen before the weddings?