Jimmy Fallon Relays Biden’s Promise of a Peaceful Transfer of Power

“Democrats were like, ‘Well, I guess at this point we can let him speak again,’” the “Tonight Show” host said.

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Getting Back Up

President Biden spoke from the White House on Thursday, promising a peaceful transfer of power to President-elect Donald J. Trump in January.

“Democrats were like, ‘Well, I guess at this point we can let him speak again,’” Jimmy Fallon said.

“During his speech, Biden said, ‘You can’t love your country only when you win.’ Yeah. Then he said, ‘But since I didn’t win or lose, I can do whatever the hell I want.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“Biden also tried to comfort Democrats by saying, ‘The America of your dreams is calling for you to get back up.’ Then Biden said, ‘Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go take a nap.’” — JIMMY FALLON


“But he said ‘The America of your dreams is calling for you to get back up’ is based on a quote from his favorite British poet, Chumbawamba.” — JIMMY FALLON


“He only spoke for a few minutes — didn’t want to miss the Showcase Showdown on ‘Price is Right.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL


“The president gave a gracious speech. He told the nation, ‘You can’t love your country only when you win,’ which got a huge laugh in the lunchroom at Mar-a-Lago.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“We’re going to be talking about Trump again every day for another four years, I guess. And I, for one, did not think that when I came out of the jungles of Malaysia to do comedy that I would be making jokes about Donald Trump every day for 13 years straight. Thirteen years! I don’t talk about anybody as much — I don’t talk about my mom as much as I talk about this guy. I don’t talk about my wife as much as I talk about this guy. My wife thinks I’m having an emotional affair with him. I’m going to be talking about this guy on my [expletive] deathbed, OK? Which I assume will be in three years, when he somehow brings back the bubonic plague.” — RONNY CHIENG

The Punchiest Punchlines (Expat Edition)

“According to Google, searches for ‘moving to Canada’ skyrocketed during the election. Google searches for ‘moving to Canada’ were up by 5,000 percent. Now it’s just Melania doing it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL


“Moving to Canada after an election we don’t like is one of those things Americans are always saying we’re going to do but never actually go through with it, like when you tell the vet you’re going to brush your dog’s teeth.” — JIMMY KIMMEL


“And it’s not just Canada: Searches for ‘moving to Mexico’ also spiked as the results started coming in — probably from Canadians looking to get away from all the Americans.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Last night I changed my dating app settings to find matches in other countries — anybody else? I wish that was a joke.” — TAYLOR TOMLINSON


“I’ve never been one of those girls that melts for a foreign accent, but now I think my type is anyone with a different passport than me.” — TAYLOR TOMLINSON


“And look, obviously other countries have problems, too, but at least they have two-day workweeks and red wine for breakfast.” — TAYLOR TOMLINSON

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