'I don't want to see my kids everyday - does that make me a bad mum?'

A mother has admitted that she doesn't want to see her children every day but claims that doesn't make her a 'bad mum'.

Lucy Parker, 35, from Maidenhead, Berkshire said she was 'run into the ground' before splitting custody of her daughters - six and four - equally with her ex-husband, 35.

The mother-of-two admitted she believes not seeing her children everyday has made her a better parent and that she now has more time to spend 'filling' her 'cup' by socialising, dating and travelling. 

Lucy, a freelance content creator and social media marketer, said not taking care of her children 24/7 also allows her more time to get on top of work and focus on other aspects of her life.

Taking a break from constantly caring for her children means she has 'more energy' to be present when she is around them.

When she shared her thoughts online, commenters said it 'broke' their 'heart' and have asked her 'why did you have kids then?' but Lucy doesn't want other parents to feel 'shame' at wanting a break.

Lucy, who now lives in Perth, Australia, said: 'It doesn't mean you don't love you kids because you don't want to see them everyday,' adding that the feeling between her children is mutual.

'My kids don't want to see me everyday,' she explained.

'I don't think that makes me a bad mum - not wanting to be with your kids 24/7.

'The last six years I have felt like I have not been fully present as a mum or businesswoman.

'It's become vital for us both that we have been able to have that break.'

Lucy, has always been 'career driven' and didn't want to 'give up' on her work to have children.

She said her ex-partner was always very supportive of this but Lucy put pressure on herself as the main income earner.

As her job was flexible, she often found herself juggling work and childcare.

Lucy said: 'We just couldn't catch a break. I lost money going back to a corporate job and putting kids in care.

'I have got the skills to work from home and watch the kids. It was both a blessing but completely run me into the ground.'

Lucy put pressure on herself to earn £20,000  in three months to relocate her family back to Australia - after years of back and forth between the UK.

She said: 'I had to work everyday possible. I didn't ask for enough help.'

When the couple grew apart and decided to separate in October 2023, Lucy felt relief at the idea of co-parenting.

She said: 'We said we'll split the care 50/50. As soon as that happened I went 'OMG I'm going to get a break'.'

Currently Lucy has the children 60 per cent of the time but her ex-husband will take on extra days when their youngest starts school next year.

When her ex moved out in April 2024 she started to get days off - without seeing the kids.

Lucy said: 'I used that week just to cry. All I did was face that healing head on.

'It was definitely ugly - but the kids didn't see me cry. I really had to find out who I am now. I don't know what I like to do. I went out and tried all these hobbies.

'I just want to travel. I want to sit in silence on a beach,' she confessed,

Lucy is now able to use that time to catch up on work, explore hobbies and get back out on the dating scene.

Lucy said: 'That week I don't have them all I can catch up and get ahead. Now I have split I have started dating - I can do it when my kids are not there. That's my time to do what I want to do.

'My dream has always been to travel and I had put that on hold. Now I can do that - just every other week.

'I'm filling up my cup. I can come home and say look at what mummy did this week, I have the energy.'

Lucy said she is honest with her kids about wanting them to be apart from her.

She explained: 'They know mum doesn't want to have them everyday because she wants dad to have them.

'There dad offers different stuff - how can I deny him equal access to the kids? What he offers is just as important.'

Lucy said she misses her kids when they are with their dad but doesn't call them when they are there as it would be 'disruptive' and 'upsetting' for them.

She said: 'The kids get this beautiful blend of both of parents who have spent the week filling their cup.

'We joke that people should just married, have kids and get divorced.

'Now my kids get two happy houses.'

But Lucy has faced backlash online for her honesty.

She said: 'The most common one was 'why did you have kids then?' which is just a silly question. And I hope your kids never see that video.'

But Lucy wants parents to know it's normal to feel you need a bit of time apart from your kids. She said: 'It's OK to ask for a break. It's OK to not want to be around your kids 24/7.

'If it's damaging your health or mental health try and do something that is going to help. If you're not at your best it trickles down to the kids. That's when they suffer.'