Tamzin Outhwaite reveals the idea of dating 'fills her with horror'

Tamzin Outhwaite has revealed the idea of dating 'fills her with horror' as she opens up about her split from actor Tom Childs.

The EastEnders star, 53, revealed on a Suddenly Single podcast episode that she has been single for a few months and is focusing on herself.

She explained that following the end of her relationship with her toy boy lover Tom and the breakdown of her marriage ten years earlier, she feels she owes it to herself to explore life as a single woman.

The TV presenter confirmed she had split from her boyfriend Tom, 33, last month after six years together

The former couple met at a yoga class in 2017 but broke up earlier this summer.

Prior to this she was married to Miranda star Tom Ellis, but the couple split in 2014 when he allegedly cheated on her with actress Emile De Ravin while filming American series Once Upon a Time.

The actress opened up to podcast hosts Tim Vincent and Siobhan Wykes about life following her split and revealed that she's scared to start dating again. 

She said: 'I've been single for a few months and I think I've owed it to myself to be single for a long time. 

'I'm in a relationship with myself and my children, and my ex who I was with for six and a half years is still a very close friend.'

'The idea of going on a date fills me with horror. The awkwardness of it all. Even if someone said Brad Pitt is coming over and really wants to take you out, I'd still be like, no.'

She added that for the moment she would much rather focus on herself and isn't interested in sharing her life with anyone but her children.

She added: ' I find the idea of being with the same person for the rest of my life horrifying.'

Tamzin went on to reveal that she no longer believes she is supposed to be in a relationship with someone for the rest of her life and can't imagine settling down with 'the one' anymore. 

'There's a lot to be said for people who stay in relationships for ever because there's no way they were going to walk out, they will get through it together. 

'That's true love. Hats off. I've got so much respect for people who do that. But I don't now think that some of us are meant to be with the same person for the rest of your life.' she said. 

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The New Tricks star explained that she has several negative habits when it comes to men and confessed that she often finds herself chasing after men and trying to make a relationship work, leaving her feeling neglected. 

The star added that she's trying to train herself to behave more positively rather than following toxic patterns of behaviour. 

She said: 'I used to be wired for chaos but I'm training myself to be wired for calm. I'm liking the new complete me!'

'I think more like a man. I very much go with the flow, trying to stay in the moment. There isn't anything I need from a partner, not kids, not marriage, not money so therefore I feel quite free. I think I'm quite alpha for a woman.'

Tamzin is now prioritising her children and is happy to spend her time with them without a man in her life.

'It's such a precious thing, time, and I owe it to myself to have some time where I'm happy and alone, with the kids.' she told the podcast.

'I feel quite balanced, I want to do a bit of travelling and I like doing that alone. Not being responsible for someone else's feelings or somebody else's anything. The space and sometimes the silence is something that I really crave.'

The star also revealed she doesn't have the emotional or mental space for a relationship anymore and is happy as she is.

She revealed: 'My dad who is 78 lives with me at the end of my garden, my house is loud, it's busy, two dogs, two kids, I have help with the children and she has two kids, so we have a tribe, and our tribe is a busy, noisy, fun one. I don't feel like I have the headspace or the heart space for a relationship.'

Speaking about her split from her most recent boyfriend, actor Tom Childs, she told Tim and Siobhan that the relationship had come to a natural conclusion, explaining that the two had moved in to the friendzone:

She said: 'It was moving into a friend zone. Obviously someone always wants to not have a relationship more than the other one, but I think it was the most humane, adult breakup and really respectful.'

'I had a wonderful six and a half years and I think about it very fondly and I think we'll always know each other. It was the most mature, respectful and humane break up ever. I'm not sure I want to be responsible for anyone else's heart apart from my own and my children's.'

But despite describing the break-up as amicable, Tamzin said she has learnt lessons form the six-year relationship and if she does start dating again, she won't be letting anyone move in with her. 

She said: 'The idea of dating now, I certainly wouldn't let anyone move in with me.'

And the star is not convined by dating apps. 

She told the podcast that she has never tried them and isn't sure she would want to.

Tamzin explained that she relies much more on someone's energy and vibes rather than swiping on a screen and trying to judge someone by their pictures. 

She said: 'I don't know where I'd start with dating….I always go on someone's energy and vibes and someone's aura and the way that they are. How do you do that by looking at a screen?'

And for now Tamzin is simply not interested but she hasn't totally ruled out getting back on to the dating scene. 

'Once the kids move on, that might be the time when I get a bit lonely and want to go on a date. I do believe in fate and it being about your connection with somebody.' she confessed.