Woman discovers her partner of 14 years has left her out of his will

A woman has revealed how her partner has decided to leave everything to their children in his will - leaving her out.

Taking to British parenting platform Mumsnet, the 50-year-old woman said discovering that her partner of 14-years has left her out of his will concerned her greatly.

She added that they are not married, and he is 10 years older than her, so she wondered what would happen to her if he died first. 

Describing the discovery as a 'red flag' she asked others what they think about her predicament. 

Many rushed to the comments with some saying he is being 'totally unreasonable' and the situation is 'bizarre'.

The post read: '[Am I being unreasonable] to be annoyed I'm not in partners will?? We've been together almost 14 years. We've got children. Not married. His house we have lived in. He's 60, I'm 50.

'Am I being unreasonable that I'm annoyed now he's doing his will his intention is to leave everything to the kids? 

'We have a decade age gap and I can't help wondering what would happen to me if he died before me? He sees it as his stuff so he leaves to who he wants to but I think it's a huge red flag coupled with the fact obviously he's not popped the question too

'Feels to me like he doesn't really see us as an US? What do you think?'

One person said: 'It's bizarre. How does he expect you to live? Being unmarried you won't have many rights I'm afraid unless he dies while the kids are dependent on you. You need a serious talk and then to start planning for your future.'

Another added: 'You both need to see a solicitor , together and separately. If he dropped dead tomorrow, the children would 'own ' your house but presumably you would have to live there as their parent and legal guardian.

'More seriously, though, you need to discuss with him why he would be happy to see you homeless after his death (if it occurred after the children became adults). That is a pretty callous way to think about your partner and the mother of your children.'

Another commentator wrote: 'Saw clients in exactly this scenario last week set up a trust so she could use and enjoy his house for the rest of her life / until she goes into a care home then on her death the house passes to his Dd. That's what normal decent unmarried people do.'  

Many suggested the woman should leave her partner because he is being 'cold' towards her. 

One said: 'Yeah, that would be it for me. You need to leave him. At least then you might receive appropriate child maintenance as you sort out your own accommodation. You have been provider of progeny/domestic appliance. Now you know for sure you need to get away.' 

Another said: 'If I were you, I would buy a small flat or house and rent it out so that when he dies, you will have somewhere to move to. Perhaps now is a good time to re-evaluate your relationship. He obviously doesn't place you in high regard.'

Meanwhile, someone else wrote: 'Leave. This tells you all you need to know about how he feels about you.'

And a fourth said: 'You genuinely could end up homeless due to him not considering you. Leave and set up your own home, this man does not respect you.' 

The woman revealed that her partner makes her feel like she is being 'grabby' when she brings up his will. 

She said: 'You're all so right. I really did sleepwalk into this but I'm made to feel like I'm being really grabby and mercenary any time I bring it up. 

'There's a look on his face as if to say "ah here's the real reason she's with me". It makes me feel like I shouldn't even be bringing it up.' 

One person said: 'Bear in mind that while none of us know exactly what's down the line, you are substantially younger than him and could spend a good chunk of your later years as a carer for him, possibly stopping you building up funds/pension of your own.

'I'm a full time carer for my husband but everything we have belongs to us both (and he brought more to the marriage in material terms) I'm not sure I would be making that sacrifice for someone so uncaring of my security and welfare as your partner seems to be, especially after 2 children and years together.'

Another said: 'This is ridiculous and no way to conduct an adult relationship. I'm astonished you have children but haven't yet come to an agreement about major financial matters.

'See a solicitor now, preferably together so he can hear everything too.'

Someone else added: 'You know where you stand, and you can see what type of man he is and what he thinks of you.

'If you don't want to move out (with or without the kids), then you have to stay in the relationship, knowing what you know, and start thinking about your financial future.You can't force him to leave anything for you, or provide you with any security.All you can do is start saving and investing like mad for yourself.

'Go full time, then job switch every 2-3 years to get promotions and pay rises.If you are doing more than half the housework etc., stop that right now and focus on your career.'